The Wodehouse Society Cricket Club (TWSCC) has adopted certain laws to keep the game enjoyable. Since the TWSCC believes in the importance of fun over competition, these laws are designed to prevent the game from ever becoming too serious.
It is to be remembered that the most vital elements of any TWSCC match are camaraderie and clothing. Plummies turning up in proper whites will instantly be rewarded with the admiration of their peers, regardless of how rotten their play. The Wodehousean spirit must prevail at all times (although complaining about LBW decisions over the evening cocktails is allowed. That, after all, is an integral part of cricket). Most of all, don't ever forget that it isn't whether you win or lose, or whether you even hit the blasted ball, that counts; the goal is to be able to return from a TWS convention proudly proclaiming, "I have played cricket!"
In a "real" cricket match, there are two sides with eleven players each. In a TWSCC match there shall be as many players on a side as necessary to accommodate all who wish to participate.
All matches shall be mixed. Ladies and gentlemen may be part of the same side.
The length of the match shall be determined by the designated officials to make sure everyone has enough time to play their innings (also remembering to allow for pre-match instruction and a tea break between innings) while making sure the game doesn't last all day. A 2 hour per side limited overs match is currently thought to be adequate.
Due to the scarcity of regulation cricket grounds and equipment in the U.S. (as well as the aforementioned time constraints), changing sides of the pitch after each over is not necessary.
Captains for each side shall be chosen from the most experienced and least competitive cricketers present.
Captains will choose Vice-Captains using the same criteria.
Sides shall be drawn by lot. Convention name tags of people wanting to play will be put into a hat (preferably a Bodmin's) and Captains will take turns drawing players' names for their side.
Scoring shall be the same as in normal cricket, with the following exceptions:
Umpires shall be designated by mutual consent. In the case of a lack of specialist umpires, experienced players from the batting team will double as umpires. Although umpires must be obeyed without question on the field, they will not be immune to bread-roll barrages at dinner after a match. All batsmen not quite gruntled about LBW decisions will refrain from exacting revenge until this time. Correspondingly, the winning side may buy the umpires as many drinks as they like.
TWSCC encourages bribery of umpires at any time except during actual play. Since umpires will only be announced shortly before the match commences, this adds a sporting element to any modern-day Stegglesian endeavour. Furthermore, while prospective umpires will, naturally, accept all bribes, they will not allow these gifts (or lack thereof) to affect the actual umpiring — that just wouldn't be cricket!
TWSCC forbids its members from divulging information regarding the weather and the state of the pitch unless the applicant supplies them with adequate cocktails in advance. Any players found divulging such information without providing cocktails in return will be horse-whipped on the steps of the TWSCC.
Prizes will be awarded by the TWSCC rules committee. Both players and spectators are eligible for awards. Categories for prizes include:
Breaks for tea shall be scheduled and announced in the convention literature.